My eldest child, Saoirse has officially entered the black hole of being a ‘teenager’.  She has always been our textbook child, she met all of her milestones as expected, has never struggled at school, has never been in trouble, is a joy to be around.  Blah blah blah.  If daughters were Facebook posts, Saoirse would be that annoying picture-perfect post, that looks like it was copy and pasted from Pinterest.

But just like it says in the parenting textbooks, with her 13th birthday now in the bag, she is stepping out of Pinterest corner and into the messy world of teen tutting and tantrums.  I have pre-booked my hairdresser for the next 5 years to cover the ensuing grey hairs.

She has become a new, often unrecognisable person, especially since starting secondary school earlier this year.  I had been warned that teenage girls, usually stop speaking to from about the age of 13 to 16.  I had been pretty devastated by this idea, but now the way things are going, I think it might be for the best.

I can honestly say, I am ‘so over’ the teenage years already and she hasn’t even actually been 13 for a full week yet.  So, what is it that is causing me such despair?  I had to say in a poem:

So now she is officially a teen,

There is a demon where my little girl had been.

Every time I speak, she rolls her eyes,

If I say it something wrong, she runs and cries.

Her skin is starting to get a little spotty,

And her moods and whims are driving me dotty.

Her phone seems to be glued to her hand,

She wants expensive clothes with a fancy brand.

She’s never tired and likes to stay up late.

But getting her out of bed, I really do hate.

To her brother and sister, she’s always mean,

The floor to her room can no longer be seen.

Mugs, books and bottles I always miss, 

As they lay under her bed, lost in the Abyss.

Her hair I wish she’d brush or wash,

She’s only nice when she wants some dosh.

She seems to think I was never a teen,

“For God’s sake mum, you don’t know what I mean!”

With her friends she’ll happily giggle and whisper,

Preferring to scream and shout at us or her sister.

She simply has to be always right,

Telling us this with all of her might.

The door to her room is always locked,

No doubt, my number on her phone will soon be blocked.

We’re about to start with Kardashian Brows,

And lipstick pouts that look like sows’

There’ll be no going out with her skirt up her ass!

I do hope that phase will quickly pass.

Maybe the next 3 years will soon fly by,

And speak to her, again we’ll try.

Until then I’ll pick my battles through gritted teeth,

Remembering my gorgeous Saoirse is underneath.

So, I’ll make sure to hold on tight for dear life,

Smiling on through the trouble and strife,

And soon enough a young woman will emerge.

As my love and pride continue to surge.

Happy 13th Birthday Saoirse!

This is dedicated to the parents, teachers and all who interact with teenagers regularly.

May the odds be forever in your favour.  The struggle is real!

Classic Teenager Face

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